--Don't Fear The Reaper

[Altair]

" Come on baby...
                       Don't fear the Reaper
Baby take my hand...
                       Don't fear the Reaper
We'll be able to fly...
                       Don't fear the Reaper
Baby I'm your man..."

--A Journal For Dream Recording & Check List--

Friday, June 24th, 2011 (Between 6:30AM - and 3:00PM)

The dream started out where a friend of mine was chosen for a contest to make the best pizza and sushi then the other team in a short amount of time. So my friend got the choice to chose one person where he chose his uncle--Nikki Sixx. So I had to get on the phone and call him, and ask him to come down and he told me he was all the way across the state. He said "One Sec" and all the sudden showed up. So I hugged him and thanked him, and as we started working, he told me we all needed to go to the store to pick some things up so dropping the sushi I was making, I got in the car and started driving. I don't remember how it started but I somehow got turned around and was driving with my feet and talking to Nikki and the girl next to him leaned up and whispered "do you still have a crush on him" and I told her "yes" and she told me to let her upset him so I could console him. So when she started mentioning things, he didn't get sad, but he took one of my hands and mentioned how ice cold it was. When I offered it more to him, he wrapped both hands around it to warm it (I remember feeling cold and suddenly warming up slowly) and after a few moments of soft talking back and forth ( I don't remember the conversation) he changed hands and pulled me a little closer and next thing I knew we were standing in the entrance of a bar with a jukebox. So Nikki gets a Coke because he's sober and I get one as well and next thing I know we're dancing pressed together and then sitting in the corner of this open pub like bar before a bunch of other woman started trying to talk to him. He ignored them and put his forehead against mine and in my dream I enjoyed those warm little kisses before I was rudely awaken by thunder....


Checklist--
* Possibly Write First Post for Welcome To Madness
* Answer An Assassins Target on Blue Moon
* Answer Spare Us The Rescue On G.
* Figure out what I need to do that I can't figure out right now

[Altair]

--No Dream Entry For June 28th 2011

Checklist

*Writer another answer to Spare Us The Rescue when I feel like it
*Check on Harriet to make sure she's doing alright
*Write an answer to S.S
*Talk to Tako about where this RP is headed

[Altair]

--No Dream Entry For July 30th 2011

Checklist

*Write a response for Join Me In Death
*Write up some new plot ideas
*Stop going to bed so late
*Get on a better sleep schedule

[Altair]

--Dream consisting of myself having to give a lethal injection to someone. Woke up in a cold sweat with tremors. No other dreams are being remembered. (October 7th 2011)

Checklist

*Finish transferring Disarm Me With Your Loneliness -Waiting On Takoda
*Consider adding new plots for the request threads
*Find a job asap
*Force Harriet to come back so I have something to do on afternoons I'm bored

[Altair]

So Altair's "Valentines Day" has been spent listening to Steel Panther
Posting on another forum as Satchel
Editing the character application forms
Talking to Debbie.
:D AND GETTING FREE ARTS FROM DIESBUSCUS *Snugs him*



"I would give you the stars in the sky
But they're too far away
If you were a hooker, you'd know
I'd be happy to pay
If suddenly you were a guy
I'd be suddenly gay

'Cause my heart belongs to you
My love is pure and true
My heart belongs to you
But my cock is community property"

[Altair]

So Dies and I talked for several hours
and I forced myself to answer my You're The Fire In My Veins after losing my post
(8 Paragraphs By The Way)
Dies and I also talked about something that is currently put on the back burner until he moves
-cackles- I'm pleased by this idea.
I'm uber excited. It shall be an idea of

[Altair]

Finally getting to feeling a bit better.
Though still missing my Diesbuscus. ):
But might be going to a yummy dinner tonight
And heading to the casino to just get out of the house.
Feeling rather Mooshy today C:

Moosh~

[Altair]

I need my Diesbuscus back so we can continue our RP
And talk for several hours and watched Viva together.
And act like idiots over AIM.
I also really really really hate it when people who think they can sing and can't sing HIM songs.
I know I can't sing, but at least I don't do it when someone is trying to enjoy the music.
And if I do I'm quiet enough they can still hear the music.
And don't make fun of it.


(By the way this is totally me and Dies)

[Dies Irae]

I'm not ashamed that i would definitely do what Bam is doing there

[Altair]

So I did really really good at the convention selling my art.
Met a lot of people
Had a great time even though it was a very long day.
And then I get the good news Dies is moving into his new place.
Which means stable internet and more activity.
Which means our RP can continue!
And we can talk about our plans for world domination! >:D

[Altair]

I'm feeling broken
and exhausted
and lonely
and weak.
I feel like I have no artistic talent
I have no talent in anything
That I'm the person everyone just "tolerates"
I'm in love with someone that doesn't know I exist.
I feel like my friends don't know I exist. (or what few friends I even have left)
That I've been replaced by my mother's ex husband almost 2 years ago.
I feel like everyone looks at me like I'm an uneducated redneck.
I feel like I have no place in life.
I feel like I can't find a job because no one thinks I could do it.
I feel like a failure because I can't find any school that I want to attend
I feel like a loser because I don't know what career I even want to study
I feel like I'm not good enough to go into the career that I considered.


Oh...and Dies?

[Altair]

I miss Dies.


(and this gif depresses me)

[Dies Irae]

I's been having some issues with sleeping lately, i'll try to get on AIM soon :3.

[Altair]

"Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me"

pelasta minut alkaen itseltäni

[Altair]

Dies is back C:


): Don't leave again.


When you're around I laugh a lot more ^^

[Altair]

So, basically here's what's been going on.

--I recently got a job, finally. I'm the IMpress Associate at the Office Max here in town. We're the top Office Max in the country, so I have really high expectations from my co-workers but I currently love my job. The people I work with are a riot, even though I'm not used to standing for as long as I do, so I come home hurting from the waist down. I actually get paid more then minimum wage, which shocked me when I first read the paper for the hire information. It is A LOT to take in. I have a lot of things I need to learn. I have to do copies, faxes, fed-ex, design work, emailing, sign work for the store, advertisements, and deal with customers that come up with little off side projects in the mean time, plus I have to keep an eye on the front end, and 50% of the time trigger the door when someone comes in. I also have to keep an eye on the self serve copier, make sure no one thats there needs any help, but also be a front end associate if we're busy and be a cashire if there is 3 or more people in line at 1 register. I need to remember the paper codes for certain types of paper, as well as the prices for our basic paper (or the most used ones). I need to be able to give price quotes for abstract things that people ask for. Its just a lot to learn all at once.

--On the positive side, I've been playing Minecraft 360 and watching some movies. I recently watched The Grey and I actually loved it. It was deep, beautifully done, dark yet outstanding. I watched the new Underworld, and it was incredibly short, and....alright. I would have preferred they just expanded the story a bit further so I didn't watch a movie that was only 75 minutes long. Next on the list is The Woman In Black.

--I've started writing a Fanfic (to keep myself distracted and writing daily) with a new friend I met on a different website named Robbie. She's such a sweetheart and so fun to talk to, kinda like a crazy me. I've also been active on a African Lion website (don't judge) that's been rather nice,though I feel like I'm very....minimal and kinda ignored since there are so many members.

--I've been drawing more, well...kinda.

--Feel sick to my stomach.

[Altair]

--I'm looking for a new job. I'm tired of feeling like a complete failure by everyone when I make a mistake, and being ignored when I do something good. I'm dreading going to work daily because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a fucking idiot.

--I'm depressed again. It hits me randomly, but when it does, I cry myself to sleep because no one cares. Who would?

--I have no idea where my mother is. Glad to know her boyfriend and her drug habit is more important then her kids. Always felt that way anyway. So I guess it was only due time.

--I'm alone.