Forsaken Lullaby

To Do list:

• Post to Yield To Temptation, Tides of Time, Kiss of Dawn, Entwined Oblivion, I Will Not Bow
• Write post for Harriet for "Hope is only an Illusion"
• Wirte Post for Niketia WOO F/F! XD
• Remind people to transfer their posts from their stuff on the Old FL
• Do the new Error Messages for the website {Though the liklihood of them popping up is nill}
• Modify all the themes so they now include the Youtube BBC button
• Link all rps to Req thread


• Have sex with Altair because she's that fucking sexy as Ville -- : D LOVE YOU

NOTE: Altairs Addendum would be done if she would post ;)

Reminder to self to do the following:

Kill the spammer (again)
Post to (in order) - Kiss of Dawn, Tides of Time, Entwined Oblivion, Between Love and Hate, Yield to Temptation, Kiss of a Rose, Virtue and Vice, Sirenian Shores, Cursive Eve
Take car to DMV before July 7th
Post new Writing exercise
Start figuring out what is needed for Austalian Trip
Start Planning on Birthday booze funds. XD

To DO List:

• Send Inactivity PMs to those who haven't spoken to her before
• Do TIDES OF TIME post
• Post to White Rose Withering, Kiss From a Rose, and Yield to Temptation, Sirenian Shores
• Write a message to Mom for her Australian Trip
• Add a Australian countdown to her siggy :3
• Figure out what to RP with BB abouts o3o
• Post an equally dark return post to Altair in Join Me In Death because she was in a weird mood.

• Changes Come. Life will have it's way with your pride, son. Take it like a man.
• Head out to the mall later and get .30 cent cheaper gas {WHY IS GAS CHEAPER ON the other side of town? :/}
• Grab Lunch
• Figure out how to reply to Join Me in Death, Cursive, Between Love and Hate, Yield to Temptation, Kiss from a Rose and Tides
• Should really get Mistoffeles an oil change soon >.>; I added 5,000 miles to the car..derp

So someone on facebook asked me if I was driving to Australia. For those of you who don't know I'm going to Australia in August [So you may not see much activity from me or Dies for about a week]. I kinda facepalmed. Seriously facepalmed. Really? DRIVE?

Some people are idiots. :/

And my copy of American McGee's Alice doesn't work anymoar ;-; I think I died a little. I should get myself a console or something >_> So that A.) I can play with my frieeeennnds and B.) CAUSE THEN LIFE WILL BE EASY >[

And maybe my TV will be used. Speaking of which I should go snag my DVD player back from Shu's house...

And I think my birth father drunk called me last night. ._.;

Not many people know me from the old days. Most of the people here have known me over various mediums over time. I'm not the same person I used to be, and I think it is reflected in my Adminship decisions. Back in the old days when people roleplayed, at least on the Forum I ran then, people weren't into the 'adv. RP scene' where things such as One-liners, and two liners, were more common than the full bodied paragraphs that most (if not everyone) writes on here now.

I used to be a bit of a...nazi I like to think, I was fairly strict and what happened was I fell away from the forum scene after awhile. Got back into the 'im-set' based rp, Where responses were often faster [Under 10 minutes?] but still continued the story along and could be well advanced rp because you only got so many lines to fit all you want to say before your text box goes "NO MOAR". I think that's where I started getting laxed on things. I started typing more in a window rather than in a word document, so spelling errors were made.

Besides that fact my brain also tends to mix up words naturally as is. For example, the last "made" I originally typed as "maid", which is not a typo but is still incorrect. I've gotten used to this, and people understand that I do this on occasion. I'm not sure why I do it, it just happens. When I started going back to forums I also started roleplaying with people where English wasn't their first language. I grew to adjust to that and some things didn't grow under my skin so much. {Double Posting in group common areas does though}

I've grown older.

A forum is very much like a society where the Administrators are like the Leaders of the society, we run the things behind the scenes, Global Moderators are like...the Enforcers of the things that run behind the scene, but they must still go to the Administrators for the final say. And then there are the members. As Members think of yourselves like citizens of a society. Do you go to the Leader to deal with a conflict you have with another person? No you do not, you confront the person and then go to an Enforcer (Global Moderator) if necessary. If they don't do anything then you go to the Administrators, and then, only then if they don't do anything do you run it to the papers (In our case The Syndicate).

I like to think that as adults, as mature as most people are people can handle that. I understand that not everyone is going to like each other. I understand also that more often than not people are willing to change something small to make things run better. It's kind of why I run Forsaken like I do. I don't like popularity contests, I don't like drama. I feel that this, this works and that things will smooth over. Granted right now most people are rping with me. That's great I don't mind that in the least, but some people are branching out [Like in Open Roleplay] where I hope in time people will like how someone is posting there and ask if the other person would like to do an rp.

People are far more approachable if you simply ask.

I don't know if I will use this journal for true journaling purposes as a day-to-day 'life' sense, but things like this where I can explain my views form an Admin role, my To-Do lists, and maybe a little snippet of things happening that caught my attention at that moment. Hopefully this will provide a little insight into why I'm doing and running things the way I am.

To Do List:

• Do TIDES, Cursive, Between Love and Hate, Yield to Temptation, and Entwined Oblivion posts
• Write an Admin snippet about PMs (or Make Dies do it)
• Start doing Articles for Whispers
• Try to recruit two more people [Almost got ONE Down I just need to help him figure out a Username >[, convincing the other one may be a bit tricky]

To all my RP partners I want to formally apologize - Life got in the way and has tried to destroy my Muse D: It's still there I promise but posting back will be slow. I will not be starting any new rps until I have finished posts to those I owed however. so if you post, and I don't post for yours till everyone else know it's only to be fair.

WOO I DID TIDES I SO PROUD OF MYSELFS! T-T;

Anyway to the To-Do list!

• Post to Entwined Oblivion*[typing], Between Love and Hate, Yield to Temptation, Seven Days to the Wolves, End of Me
• Post to Kiss of Dawn, White Rose Withering, Cursive Eve
• Do starting Post for Hope is Only an Illusion for Harriet
• Convince certain people to do an Intro post

This is just a general notice to everyone that after tomorrow I may or may not be on for a couple days. I'll probably log on for a bit on Monday - but it's a big weekend for me :) To all my rp partners I will TRY to get a post out tonight/tomorrow if not then Don't panic! D: I love you all dearly and I hate to keep you guys waiting! I *should* be on on after Tuesday/Wednesday though :) Depending on work.

<3

THOSE WHO ARE CROSSED OFF ON MY LIST - you are either done or next in Queue that means if I didn't do your post now it will be up within the next 24 hours!

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

So. obviously. I took a rather long overdo vacation and my muse is now ready to be tamed and cooperated. :) Posts should be done on Monday. how many? Dunno yet - but I'll make something work!

I missed all my lullabies. But! Vacation is over my Darlings. >3 Time to write.

Unfortunately my Muse took a huge hit of OMGWTFBBQ apparently. A lot of IRL stuff plus the pending Hurricane heading my way has put a serious damper on things. Also the fact of the little to no activity on here because people are waiting on me made me a little upset :< You guys can do better than that I know that. I've seen you guys overcome having to just rp with me. It went well! What happened?

Sad Tako is Sad that there is quiet on her place. :/

This song has been my theme song lately. And it's sad because it's so true...and this place is one of the things that has been my rock as of late. And I have been neglecting it but as it stands - I need to stand up and bring us back from the looming pit that may very well eventually engulf us. But my Muse is the only thing that has been my way of channeling my emotions to the true potential.  Thus why it has not been cooperating.

However I'm never. Ever. Abandoning you guys. Ever. I may not post. But I'm at least on every day, or a pm away no matter what. I want you guys to know that.

I would like to say sorry for all my rp partners as of late.

Life took a deep and profound nosedive last night when I had to file to Police reports for theft and harassment. And a fight with Master where I am now wondering if 'dismissal' will happen. Outside of that I'm also trying to make sure I still have a roof over my head considering work has decided to FUUUUUUUUCK YOU and cut my hours to 12. I need at least another 8 hours to break even and have some wiggle room for emergency >_>;

It's hard for me to type up posts in that state. hopefully my 'training' today at my other job will be fruitful at least!

Things left to do:

OTHER THAN POST

1.) change the "English" folder's set of images to go with Halloween Theme
2.) Fix the last 'dropdown' option DOES NOT WORK LIKE ITS SUPPOSED TO D:<
3.) Change the Template to fix the colors at the bottom >[

Should have this all done by midnight xD;

Life has been getting pretty daaaaaamn hectic as of late. My social life took a huge uhh lift? >.> I haven't had the term 'non-existent' in awhile so on my days off I'm taken by one of the gang on some quest or another. =P So my muse has been like "OOOO VACATION!" *facepalms* or it's asking for very specific things so if you are rping with me pleaseeeeeee be very patient D: I'm not deliberately ignoring you evers. :< My muse is just stuck and it will come back to you with something worth the wait <3

I am going to be away from teh interwebs for a day or so ~ for various reasons. However I have discovered this one song and it reminds me of Forsaken <3. This is my theme song for now. It reminds me how many times my Muse has made it so I don't do anything stupid.

Thank you music for being there.

I have an exteme self-loathing complex that comes out more often than not when times aren't going too well. I feel that Forsaken's almost ghost town state is my fault because I didn't do something right or not enough. That the idea, though bulletproof, was doomed to fail because of not being a part of the active scene. There is only so much I can do. Juggling between my real life duties and Staff duties I feel like I let down a lot of people and that is why everything is falling apart.

But what does that leave you guys? Nothing. I refuse to get you guys tangled into my issues as to what I feel I'm doing wrong here. Know that I love you all dearly even when I get like this and I'm looking out for your best interests in mind.

I appologize to those who have been waiting from a post from me - Life has been hectic as of late . Hectic being an understatement. So to give you guys a general idea of what's going on here's the jist.

Danae (http://forsakenlullaby.com/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=59) and I are trying to get a place together since my lease goes out at the end of March. However things haven't been cooperating very well [Some of the places we looked at either A.) Didn't work out or B.) were possible fiancial suicide .-.;]. In the meantime I still have my stuff to pack, bills to pay, etcetc.

Work has been bouncing all over as well. There are talks I may be moving to fulltime to take my old bosses job because she can't do it [derp]. My new meds make me slightly crazy and my muse is being fickle. In a nutshell Tako has been busy with IRL crap. She hates it. She misses being able to write and getting everything out and about and situated but it's being bleh. Soon though I'll have everything underway.

Miss you <3

Good News! Momma Vega has found a new location to call "home."

Bad News! When the day comes to actually move she will not probably be on much for a few days/week.

WITH THAT being the case, I'm leaving Forsaken in Dies and Altair's hands while I'm gone. They know what and how to contact me in case of emergency.

I love you guys <3.

Hello everybody. This is an overload apology for keeping everyone waiting. :(

A lot of IRL stuff has been going on recently. In fact I haven't even touched a computer in almost 4 days. Let alone been home for 3 of those 4.

My father is needing surgery, what kind and what for I don't know yet, I am going to find out tomorrow.

I'll try to post to everybody before the weekend however. I hate keeping everyone out of the loop. :(

I'm back now <3 I have new music that is helping my muse!  However it will be slow going at first. I'm going to try at least get 3/4 rp posts done a day until caught up.  I know that it may seem erratic for me and anybody who is worried lately don't hesitate to message me online [I'm under the same username on almost all messengers, they are also listed on my profile]. All the staff have my number, so if there is an emergency I am still around.

Currently I'm at my parents house until I finish Fae's post. Then I'll try to do more when I get home [I have Tel's and Espee's on my computer in particular]. So hopefully my muse will come back to life completely.

Again I sincerely apologize for not being around. I can also hope that when I start school this fall that it will not disrupt too terribly much.

I love everyone! I have missed all my darling lullabies. <3

Hello my Lullabies!

As you all may have noticed I've been working pretty hard on getting all my posts done and in a timely manner. o3o Or at least *attempting* to. The power went out for a pretty decent amount of time yesterday so the posts I had done yesterday didn't want to happen .-.; cause I had to charge my laptop when I did finally get power back and theeen yeah. >-<; So I'm sorry no posts happened yesterday.

BUT! There is spectacular news afoot~

Come August I start school: I am going in fulltime online. I also got a promotion at work. This is not necessarily a bad thing as that means more money for me, though I will say that my online time may not be as much at first. School and Work before play. unless it's a slow day =P once school starts I will see how long it takes me to post. I may limit myself to two posts a day. We'll see what happens.

BUSY WEEK IS BUSY! Tako started her first day of school today. Most of it is Exceedingly easy. Which is good. Except for two classes.

My english class is going to be the devil. I can already tell this because I have HORRENDOUS Grammar, among other things. One class isn't hard, it's just on a different time table than ALL the other classes. Everyone else is wed>wed, this one? Sun>Sun. ._.; So I'm throwing this out there right now.

From 9 AM > 12 PM M&Thurs [which are my days off] I won't be available for anyyything =P No chat no nothing. If you see me online please don't bother me on those two days =P. I may not be posting as much but we'll see what happens.

As always I love you allll <3

Originally I was going to post about how I'm getting back into the groove of things and I was get posting again but a really nasty bombshell has hit in my life that I need to take priority of first before I come back to do REALLY serious posting. This has been x-posted on a couple of sites but I believe this will give you the gist of how I feel right now. Love you all <3

I was having a fairly good night until I went out to my car to get my phone and hang out with interesting playful male who made me amused. There was a missed call from my birth father on my phone.
My Father never calls me. In fact the last time I spoke to him on the phone was Father's day. That is not to say we haven't kept in touch, it's what Facebook is for usually but when I got my new phone I had two of his numbers in my phone old phone and thanks to a glitch it refused to let me add either of them to mine and I completely forgot to ask him about so he and I could start back to talking and getting to know each other.
Let me further clarify in stating that my Father had not seen me for 23 years until this year. In fact he had almost given up finding me a few years back until he found my mom. Because I use my online moniker for everything people who know me outside of family would look for that versus my real name.
I had been worried in either case because like I said - A.) He never calls me and B.) I had noticed over the weekend he had posted about being in the hospital again. He has some major health issues because of stupid shit he did to himself (The main reason why he dropped off the face of the earth was because of Coke, and not the drinking kind). So I immediately called him back on my way back to Saucer from my car.
The conversation had started out mundane enough, and I in all my optimistic attitude missed a memo somewhere.
"So you know I won't be able to see you again, right?"
"Well yeah,"
"What? How'd you know?"
I wish I could see you sooner like we'd talked about, but you are going to the...the..." insert pondering moment "Phillipines right to see your girlfriend?"
"No, because I only have 3-6 months to live according to the doctor."
Stunned silence. This was the man who I had obviously inherited a lot of my personality and had just started to get to know again telling me that he was going to die. The rest of the conversation was practically a blur by that point. I know he told me he loved me, and that he was at least happy to see me once. He told me that I shouldn't let anyone change me and that he knows I'm always against the world, and that's a good thing because I'm being me.
He also told me I'm one of the last people to know. He didn't tell me what he was sick with, only that it wasn't cancer and since he'd been in the hospital he'd been sleeping for 20 hour stints and he had yet to be vertical since he got in and that his main goal was to get that way. One day at a time.
And that is what I have to do, take it one step at a time. I looked up today what he had originally said on Facebook. What I had originally thought had been a typo for FML is actually far more. FMLA = Family and Medical Leave Act.
This burns me in more ways I can really say. I want to do a rewind button and had made the effort to see him more, to not have made our first meeting like it was and the basis for it. He had offered before but then I was awkward and we had just started talking then.
I'm just tired of crashing. When do things really get better?

My birth father died yesterday. I found out today.

A part of me died with him.

I haven't been really around lately and this is the main reason why.

With school stuff, and my dad dying I haven't had the muse to really write, at all. I thought perhaps maybe there was nothing left. Thankfully I have a good friend of mine who is pulling out of my slump by expanding one of my favorite characters storylines. But it still means slow goings for those on Forum. I'm going to try and work things this week during my down time. I know for sure the end of March I will as it is Spring Break <3 However it's exam week lately T.T; so I've been massively busy.

I'm also currently seeing a therapist to help with my issues so hopefully that will help improve things as well. Though Anime so distracting too T.T;

I managed to watch all these anime in the following week:

Inu x Boku
Zakuro
Amnesia [WHICH IS A REALLY CONFUSING ANIME IF YOU DUNNO THE PREMISE D:]
Sukitte Iinayo [Say "I Love You" in English]
Kamisama Kiss
Hiiro no Kakera

I also had to fix IX this week after a fluke accident happened. T.T;

I haven't posted in this in 3 years. Time to change that.

In the last three years, I have graduated college, left two jobs and gained a better one. Learned to live my life and then always know there is somewhere always to go back to. As I always promised I kept Forsaken up and running even if it was dead because...well why not? You never know who many come back one day.

And if the churn of posts means anything my muse hasn't completely died. It just needed reprieve and a new outlet to come back to. I've seen my favorite bands live and I have had some heartbreak.

I got put on medication to help with the fact I'm crazy. I gained a serpent and a fish who never seems to die no matter what happens to him. She demon is still here and likes to curl up against the back of my chair. So I beg that you give me time to make sure people get the responses they have been asking for [sometimes for years] because my muse was a cunt. I promise a post to everyone who I know didn't leave prior to my own disappearance. Though it takes time. I also have to reread some rps to the point I remember what is going on.

Write on ~


Past Due
* Seven Days with CerebralError
* Yield to Temptation with Uriel
* Reaping the Requiem with Vive
* Disarm Me With Your Loneliness with Altair
* to save a Niamh with Relix
* Fire and Ice with Tel
* Forsaken Mother Machine
* Cursive Eve

Revived
* Machine Vision with BB
* Kiss from a Rose with Niketia
* Riddle Me This with Sweet
* The Last Dance with Niketia

Dusty journal is dusty.

Pending updates incoming.

Vacation Tako will be doing all the posting yarps.

Work Load this week:

Admin related:
Fix forum errors generated from bad attatchment

Post related -in order of needing to be completed -:
Herald's Lament w/ Green: http://forsakenlullaby.com/forum/index.php?topic=42924.0
Ode to Requiem w/ Green: http://forsakenlullaby.com/forum/index.php?topic=42925.0 - In Drafts to be worked on later
Sherlock w/ Yami: http://forsakenlullaby.com/forum/index.php?topic=42917.0
Dance in Fire w/ Tae: http://forsakenlullaby.com/forum/index.php?topic=42920.0
Cheshire w/ Sweet: http://forsakenlullaby.com/forum/index.php?topic=284.20
* Kiss from a Rose with Niketia
* The Last Dance with Niketia
Everything in the DYO. Fuck.

Things to poke about:
Rp with Grey

I meant to post before I left to see My Lady this weekend. BUUUUUUUUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

#whoops.

But I am bringin my laptop with me. SO I may do a post or two but do not expect anything from me until Sunday! Please don't be angry ;-;

Much love